And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
