Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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