There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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