Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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