i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
