just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize