i jhust puked up my retainher.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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