I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
