She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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