girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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