I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
