My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
