I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
