can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize