does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
