why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
