do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
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