ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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