he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize