i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it's like iHOP with fire
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.