if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
