We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
