did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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