there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
