Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Couch. On fire.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
