Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
