Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
