Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
