I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
