The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
