everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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