My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
