my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I had to cum in my sink.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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