Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you had me at cake vodka
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
