i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
