If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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