Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
