My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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