We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just cropdusted the office
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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