Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
