i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
