Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
