On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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