I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
