careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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