I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
