I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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