ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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