Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I want her autograph on my taint
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
