I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
