I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize