Kiss
Puke
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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