Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
