You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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