I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
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And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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