There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize