is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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