God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
