Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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