I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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