the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
