he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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