Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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