Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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