I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
