Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
where are my eyebrows?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
