I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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