I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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