Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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