this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
