Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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